Community rules
Welcome to Parent Boundaries
This is a safe, compassionate space designed to support parents and family members navigating complex family dynamics and financial boundary challenges
To maintain trust and security within our community, all members agree to the following guidelines:
Mutual respect & zero judgement:
Every family situation is unique. We listen with empathy and share lived experiences without shaming, blaming, or lecturing.
Strict confidentiality
What is shared in this community stays in this community. Do not share, screenshot, or repost member stories or personal details outside of this group.
Support Over Solicitation
This space exists purely for emotional, educational and peer support. Commercial promotions, sales, or financial solicitations of any kind are strictly prohibited.
Constructive & Respectful Advice
Share feedback based on your personal experiences and healthy boundary-setting strategies. Always respect each member's autonomy to make their own choices at their own pace
Red Flags: Recognising Financial & Emotional Pressure
Setting healthy boundaries begins with identifying toxic or unsustainable patterns. If you are experiencing any of the following dynamics with family members, our community resources and discussions are here to help:
Persistent Financial Guilt:
Repeated demands for money, loans, or bill coverage accompanied by emotional manipulation (such as "if you loved me, you would help")
Boundary Resistance:
Explosive anger, silent treatment, or threats whenever you attempt to say "no" or set limits on your support.
Lack of Accountability:
A pattern of recurring financial emergencies without any effort to budget, gain independence, or address the root cause of the crisis.
Conditional Relationships:
Feeling that family contact, affection, or access to family members is treated as a transaction tied to financial giving.
Our story
Parent Boundaries:
Was created to shine a light on a quiet, widespread reality: so many parents give everything to their families, only to find themselves navigating overwhelming emotional pressure and financial strain. When generosity turns into obligation, it can leave even the most loving parents feeling exhausted and isolated.
This platform exists as an open space for shared perspectives, practical insights, and boundary setting strategies. By bringing these challenging family dynamics into the open, we aim to help parents protect their financial security, regain peace of mind and navigate family relationships with confidence and clarity.
We created The Parents Boundary Club because we have been in your exact shoes. We know the unique heartbreak of having your own flesh and blood turn financial pressure into emotional guilt.
We originally lent my wifes eldest son and his girlfriend about £20,000 to have some building work done on their new house, but in case the relationship went a bit pearshaped we put a charge on the house via a solicitor, which was a very wise move as a few years later they split up and sold the house and we managed to get all of our money back, but we wouldnt have done if she had got her way, she tried to fight it but our money was safe.
Forward a few years and we decided to move abroad and we were thrilled when my wifes middle son (always her favourite golden boy) said he and his partner were going to buy a house near us but it needed a lot of work doing to it to make it habitable, we had lent them money in the past and they had
always paid us back in full by the agreed time and so we didn't hesitate to lend them the 65,000 Euro's they needed as an interest free loan with a verbal agreement that they would pay us back a very small sum of 100 Euro's per month, we knew we would never get all of our money back and this was never our intention and at this rate it would take them 54 years, but we did it to help them and our grandson to get settled in and take the pressure off of them and as far as we were concerned we understandably expected them to pay the money back as agreed and as they always had in the past. As it was alarge sum of money we thought about getting an agreement signed between us at a solicitors office. We made a big mistake as we never actually got around to it and more than 3 years down the line they havent paid a penny back and we dont ever see them anymore and even though the most precious thing to him was supposed to be his mother and yet she had to have a triple heart bypass and he wont even meet up with her for a coffee and a chat.
We have yet another horror story, we are lucky enough to have a sucsessful company in the UK and after putting in place excellent staff, machinery, programs etc we decided it was time to semi retire and put my son in charge (yet again another golden boy) and put him on a salary of just over £100,000 per year with the idea that once both my wife and myself pass he would inherit a good sound company that has been trading sucsessfully for over 32 years. All seemed to be going well, we still had a small income from the family business and everyone was still employed and happy. Then the bombshell ! , my son flew out to see us as he often did, last May and sais he needed to reduce the amount of money we were drawing from the company as it could'nt afford it any longer. The alarm bells started ringing and so I contacted the accountant and got him to forward the last 3 months of accounts to me, and it soon became very clear that the company wasn't struggling at all, in fact it was performing very well which was aided by the new systems and machinery we had bought.
What became very apparent was that my son was drawing large amounts of money from the company account to finance his lifestyle and to pay for his very large income tax bills.
It has taken me well over a year to take back control of my company and stop the rot. There were terrible messages from my son which were very hurtful, untrue and unkind, I ended up getting help from my doctor and also had many sleepless nights and suffered horrendous nosebleeds which the doctor said was due to the stress raising my blood pressure. I partly blame myself for this as I took my eye off of the ball but thought I had left things in the care of my most favourite person in the world and I never dreamt that he would ever do anything to hurt me. I dont recognise my son anymore he is not the loving son he used to be he has become and arrogant, greedy narcissist.
We have an excellent physio where we live and we always talk about life and things freely and when he heard about my son he told me he has clients seeing him nearly every day with similar horror stories with many of them having to see doctors and phyciatrists, some even end up crying both male and female, so I realised we weren't alone and decided to create this website in the hope of helping others.